Parenting a special needs child is hard, there are moments that you feel that you might just break. Every time I hear about other kids that are the same age as Isaac, honestly even kids that are much younger than Isaac, developing well and doing things he “should” be able to do, it breaks my heart a little. It doesn’t take away the joy and pride I have when my friend’s baby said the alphabet clearly for her first time or when she started to recognize letters. It doesn’t make me feel any less excited as I watch my nephew grow, develop, and conquer each and every milestone like the amazing little guy he is. It just makes me a little sad for Isaac. I’m mourning the loss of what I thought his childhood would be. The thing is though, no matter how many of the sad moments or the hard moments we have there is also a great joy in raising a special needs child.
I’m sure any special needs parent can attest that raising our superhero’s is something beyond words. The moments when my baby snuggles in tight to me and still falls asleep on my chest are moments that most parents don’t get to have with a four year old. The pure elation and pride I feel when my baby makes a friend is inexplicable. The tears of joy the spring to my eyes when he goes down a slide by himself or climbs the stairs without clinging to me are so genuine. Those secret moments of giggles we share at silly things around the hospital, those times my baby whispers he loves me or tells me he is ok are heart-exploding. The very best part of my sweet little boy is that there is something there, some little part of him and some little part of me that no one else will ever see or connect with. We cling to each other, we shelter each other. I am his protection and he is my strength. My sweetest boy; my truest love.
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