14 months is new...ish

This week's ridiculousness...
Monday the UPS lady rang the bell. I answered the door in my pajama onesie, hair in a messy bun, and teeth not brushed. The kids were napping but Zoey started to cry when she heard the bell. "New baby?" She asked. "Sounds like an awfully little cry." I lied and nodded my head. It was 1pm, I didn't need her judgement. #noshame #judgeyupslady#14monthsisnewish

Tuesday Zoey had a doctor's appointment, she is still refusing to stand or walk. I woke up early, showered, brushed my teeth, and even found clean leggings and tshirt (it might have been Shane's tshirt, mine were all in laundry mountain.) I even managed a cup of coffee and some yogurt before the beasts began to bellow for me. I got the kids up and dressed in decent clothes and sat them down to a nutritious breakfast of processed sugar and food colouring in the form of lucky charms. We were doing great for time so I took a few minutes to indulge Isaac by painting his toenails and putting on minion stickers for him. This led to Zoey demanding her toes done too. I managed to get the dog in his kennel and children in the car with only one minor hiccup, Isaac wouldn't leave the house without his flipflops, apparently the running shoes with dinosaurs and flashing lights simply wouldn't do and clearly were causing his feet to be crippled. We were doing so well, only five minutes late. I even got a great parking spot, right up front! The walk into the clinic from the parking lot was torturous, Isaac's shoes kept falling off, Zoey kept throwing her doll and I was stupid enough to leave the stroller at home. After 10 minutes of this epic struggle and a meltdown from all three of us, I decided it would be easier to just carry all the things. I had the diaper bag, overflowing with snacks and distraction toys, slung over a shoulder and Zoey on my hip. I picked up Isaac in a football hold and managed to grab his flip flops with my pinky. At this point I ran for dear life into the clinic as I thought we might be too late for the appointment, oh and also I might drop the 50lbs of children. Once we finally got checked in and settled in the corner with the germ infested toys I sat down to take a breath. I realized I forgot my water bottle in the car and I would not survive the journey back to get it. I picked up Zoey's sippy cup and took the lid off, I took a big swig of apple juice and that is when I noticed all the old ladies scattered around the waiting room looking at me like I was a monster. I didn't have time to dwell on it or bask in the warm familiar glow of judgement because my tiny dictators were yelling at me demanding that I sit on the floor with them. They didn't want to actually play with me but sitting in the chair was apparently much too far away for them. The doctor was running behind and our appointment was an hour late. We got back home but of course both kids fell asleep in the car on the way back, so much for naps at home. I had to get ready for work but the kids were both cranky and demanding. Finally the nanny came. This gave me exactly 4 minutes to get ready before I had to leave. I hadn't eaten anything since the yogurt this morning. I threw a grilled cheese on the stove and attempted to find a clean pair of scrubs. I rushed out the door, grilled cheese and Coke in hand, got to the car and realized I didn't have my keys. Returning to the house made both kids cry at the realization I was going to work all over again. I got back to the car, and settled in realizing I didn't have my phone. I thought about leaving it, I really did, but I panicked thinking if I left it some disaster would happen and I wouldn't be reachable. I faced the wails of my people and got my phone. I was rewarded with sloppy toddler hugs and kisses. Finally I got to work and started my shift, it was during my first assessment of the night that a patient pointed out the Nemo sticker in my hair and the grape jelly on my scrubs.
#soblessed #trenchesofmotherhood #ireallydolovemylittles#howisitonlywednesday