I got a very restful four hours of sleep last night and felt quite refreshed, ready to take on the world. I thought it would be a great day for a family outing to the dog park. Isaac has been begging to ride his bike like a starving child in Africa begs for clean water. We had family camping nearby so we decided to meet up with them at the campground before tackling the trail of toddler tantrums. I packed everything I could think of to make sure we were really prepared. Bicycle, helmet, carrier, sunscreen (both spray for adults and the lotion kind for the kids), water bottles, snacks, diapers, pull-ups, wipes, a soccer ball, a mini football, bubbles, side walk chalk, buckets and shovels, even picnic blankets to sit on. I felt fully prepared.
We got to the campground and the kids were so excited! The dog was ready to go! We started on our lovely walk and it quickly turned into something from a nightmare. Isaac was sure he was going to fall in the "wivey"despite the fact that his trike is the kind with a handle and an adult was holding on to it the entire time. "Mom, no! Mom, help me! Help me mom! I don't want to go in the wivey mom!" A few minutes into the ride Isaac declared his famous, "Phew that was a close one mom, I'm ok."
Hobo was having the time of his life chasing anything with four legs. He was so excited he started frothing at the mouth. Great now everyone thinks my dog has rabies. Oh well, he is a hot mess like the rest of us. I do always say he is my spirit animal because he is constantly laying around taking naps and stealing food so I suppose this fits right in.
Zoey struggled in the carrier, she was plastered to Shane's sweaty back and was probably feeling quite suffocated. I guess she thought the dogs would help her because she decided to growl and bark at everyone.
Isaac, as usual, felt the need to dictate which way we should go. When we would go the opposite way he simply would say, "No I want to go that way! Ok I want to go this way." He also decided he needed to continuously yell for Hobo to ensure his precious doggy didn't get left behind. "Don't say bye to Hobo mom."
It wasn't long before the trike was the most evil invention ever and Isaac needed out to stretch his legs. We decided to let him walk and give Zoey a turn in the trike. She loved it. Isaac hated that she was in enjoying his most prized possession and threw an epic tantrum. He didn't want to ride but he didn't want Zoey to ride either. After a few minutes of screaming his tiny toddler body was completely worn out and he could no longer support his own weight. He needed carried, of course the large father type person that was with us was not allowed to touch him. Obviously daddy was currently the devil and only mommy would do. I was prepared for this and only agreed to carry his majesty if he would go in the carrier (also known as the child back pack.) He didn't really agree to this but after a few minutes of serious contemplation he decided it would be ok. He spent the rest of the walk demanding snacks I did not have.
We finally got to the playground (or "parking lot" as Isaac so fondly calls it) and I thought I could finally take a break. My shirt was soaked with back sweat from hauling a thirty pound toddler in the carrier. I felt my lungs burning and my muscles about to give out. I got to sit down for all of thirty seconds before it was discovered that, according to Isaac, daddy was too big to play and only mommy could fit on the slide.
The walk back was filled with tantrums from each child as we alternated them in the carrier. I negotiated with the tiny terrorists so I could get back to the campground. The second we finally got back and bribed them with processed cheese and salt in the shape of goldfish the gremlins were satisfied.
There was a whole thirty minutes of bliss before both children started drinking out of the dog bowl.
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